When Doug and I found out we were pregnant with our third daughter, I remember doing a little math, and then this thought left me absolutely breathless:
In September of 2023, we will have three daughters in high school ... at the same time. OH THE HUMANITY!
Those years have the potential to be a full scale Chernobyl-style disaster. But instead of curling up in the fetal position and preparing to wait out the storm, I've decided to take a more active approach. My idea is to write them a series of letters, chronicling (in a gentle way) my own experiences, what I wish I'd done differently, and what I want them to know as they prepare to leave the nest.
"...I'd end up saying have no fear/These are nowhere near the best years of your life ... I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be/I'd say have a little faith and you'll see/If I could write a letter to me."
I'm left with a lot of questions and not so many answers. (Good thing I have a few years for this project.) What kind of people do we envision them becoming? What knowledge could we impart to them to turn them into level-headed, conscientious adults? Maya Angelou wrote Letter To My Daughter to reflect on 80 years of wisdom...do I have any wisdom after 27? I'm totally unqualified to raise teenagers but maybe that's the case for everybody.
I struggled in high school (who doesn't, right?). Despite an amazing support system at home, somehow I was still hopelessly insecure. Notoriously impatient. Ruled by emotion instead of logic (as Doug would say, definitely not a Vulcan :). So, like any parent, I'd like to spare them some of my trials and tribulations. The thought of any one of my girls with a broken heart is almost too much for me to bear. I'm not naive, I know they ultimately have to make their own choices and learn from their own experiences. We can't live their lives for them--sMothering isn't my style.
I have a long list of Wants for my girls:
I want them to be happy above all else. I want them to be patient and know that God has a plan for their lives, and everything doesn't have to happen NOW. I want them to be free to be themselves; to have enough confidence to be independent thinkers and speak their minds. I want them to be kind to everyone with no exceptions, have empathy, be perceptive to others feelings. I want them to be aware of the sometimes long-reaching consequences of their actions. I want them to appreciate and take full advantage of the opportunities they are given. I want them to be gracious to a fault. I want to have an open and honest dialogue with them about their lives. I want them to know they can come to us about anything, no exceptions, and they will be met with compassion, understanding, and honesty.
I found some inspiration from other writers with the same desire. (Read a few of their letters here.) A common theme jumped out at me: they all wanted, more than anything, for their girls to be happy and feel loved. So I guess this post will be open-ended, and at the end of it maybe I'll have something worthy of reading with them, and if they can take away even one thing from it I'll call it a success.
I'd love to hear from you, what you want for your children, and how you plan on sharing that with them. Happy Tuesday, readers!
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